The Erotic Falconry Personals Page
“A raptor-rapin’ good time!” - Jimmy Johnson, Fox Sports
Gloves Seeking Birds
Name: Jon Frankenship
Lovestyle: Uppity
Likes: Yelling, pointing, grumping
Dislikes: Women
Looking for: Someone to burning with cigarette
Name: Findulius Loverbottom
Lovestyle: Sweaty
Likes: Butts, facials, beak reach-arounds
Dislikes: My boss, shirts
Looking for: Claw marks, a bird that can listen
Name: Bradley Dernt
Lovestyle: Scrutinizing
Likes: Seats on the subway, laughter, weird comics
Dislikes: Whispering
Looking for: Someone who won’t make me wait while they mess with their feathers.
Name: Delores Tenderhood
Lovestyle: Fishy
Likes: Stagnance, natural adhesives, funk
Dislikes: Washing with soap, maintenance
Looking for: Whatever
Name: Chad Sexington
Lovestyle: Homely
Likes: Real big beaks, lacerations of love
Dislikes: The Packers, Packers fans
Looking for: Raptors who won’t be weirded out by my anteater
Name: Nolan Lougainis
Lovestyle: Biting
Likes: Obedience, preying, retrieving, scent trails
Dislikes: Democrats, women in the workplace,
Looking for: Somebird to get straight nasty his claws on my zitty white behind
Name: Daeshagafonte Jones
Lovestyle: Street
Likes: Shouting, demeaning, grabbing
Dislikes: Reason
Looking for: A kestrel that’s down with some bukkake
Name: Teedles Brussard
Lovestyle: Slippery
Likes: Labes, bird labes
Dislikes: Unsolicited discharge
Looking for: A reason for uncomfortable sitting, invasive action
Name: Sterling Samson
Lovestyle: Kasem-esque
Likes: Scat
Dislikes: Dairy, gluten, Semites
Looking for: Castration by osprey
Name: Rosemond Clappingham
Lovestyle: Tainted
Likes: Creams, salves, ointments, secrecy
Dislikes: Indiscretion, flare-ups
Looking for: Endangered only
Name: Steve
Lovestyle: Methodical and deliberate
Likes: Stuff
Dislikes: Karate, marine-life
Looking for: Something brown and uncooperative
Name: Roderick Lundquist
Lovestyle: One-dimensional
Likes: The Renaissance Festival, preparing for the next Ren-Fest
Dislikes: Modernity
Looking for: Glory, glory holes
